Friday, April 13, 2012 . 8:03 AM
ChangeListening to Bright Lights by Tinchy Stryder ft. Pixie Lott. I love how the song relates to light being guidance for change, a better tomorrow. Here's the part of the lyrics which I really feel is simple, colourful and meaningful.
'Flash lights and the good life,
keep calling out my name
And I pray somehow something's gonna change
Bright lights in the skyline,
let me lose me way
Cause I know somehow something's gonna change'
Life has been much easier since I have gone out of my fire fighter course. But my mind has not been feeling contented but rather very vexed. Now I am working in an office environment, less worries serving my national service. Less to worry for ns yet worries in other areas of my life keeps creeping back up.
I am a fearful, timid person. That is who and what I am right now. It is as though I have lost touch with my inner strength for some period of time. Life is so vast.. Life is so colourful... Life is so dull... Life is so confusing... Life the journey of it so much fear.. Uncertainty.. Life is my white canvas.. You are so vast and assorted that I do not know how to live you, live life... So many choices to make and hope and be afraid to hope for, what can I do?
Hoping to decide for myself the best n perfect choices for myself now and my future, the right paths to take. But it is not the right mindset to have.. Yes I am discouraged that I am at an early stage of understanding about life and it's meaning and it's many abstractions.. And I probably will never understand it fully still, when I depart form here someday, but must it be this way?? At least I am given a chance to live, to learn to try, to feel, to experience.
Go one step at a time, focus on the simple things first... Focus on the positive things.. and let the negative be a source of understanding. The only things that is utter most important.. Is to know to be truthful and honest to oneself.. to myself.. Be humble that the heart is supposed to be. Freedom is only a step away, baby steps to change.... :)