Monday, August 29, 2011 . 7:31 AM

All At Once..

Lalalala Blabber blabber blah blah blah... Bleah....

Checking in blogger to blog about stuff again.. I've many things going on in my head these days, just need to let out some of the issues and thoughts!

I believe that my heart's been feeling burdened quite alot lately... Been more abrupt in my mood lately... Bening frustrated that I can't have the career I want, the financial stability I hope for, the love of my life, the hobbies and pets I would love to keep, being able to travel around the world at the reach and palm of my hand.

Rencetly I have ordered a 30kg adjustable dumbbell from NutriFirst as recommended by a friend. It arrived today and so I adjusted it to the lighter weight. It then dawned on me not just getting fit getting good body getting healthy on a journey isn't without pain, but life as a whole as well. Growth... without pain we can't grow, without slogging hard in this life we cannot find a place of rest a place of satisfaction, though I doubt we humans can ever be satisfied with our lives here.

All my wants, my desires just came at me.. At my frustrations also of my inability to accomodate everyone I know, friends that I know of is bugging me as well.. So many times I just want to run away and hide from people coz there is a tiredness bugging within me. Tiredness accompanied with fear that I can't understand well what is it as yet. It's tiring lor....

Being in the working line for the past few months in logistics company has let me understood better that money is hard to come by without working hard. Lots of hardwork involved in our life here, when can we really rest?? When will that day come that we can be relieved from all worries, pain and sorrow and just be free? When will be be able to attain most of our innermost desires?

Remember I have talked to a friend about my worries and frustrations.. He gives good advice and reminded I have to plan. I hate to be at nowhere now.. I despise small beginnings but I guess all big n great endings begin with 'nothing' and with good planning! Gotta get down to it now.. see what I can accomplish tonight ba. =)

Friday, August 12, 2011 . 10:30 AM

=/

Thoughts are running wild.. Feeling quite tormented within myself lately. I've been hearing people being emo about their lives and circumstances these few weeks, I guess it's catching up on me now. Just when I thought I'm going steady, and I'm learning, there seems to be an inner growling... Something uncomfortable, a twitchy within myself that is condemning and I feel so hard to comprehend.

I can't exactly pin point to what is bothering me now, but i guess it is a set of reasons.. Plz save me from this torment God. .. Plz take away all these insecurities, all these fears that are coming back from all to become hauntings of the new. I want to embrace life to it's fullest.. the pain, the beauty, the happiness and the truth of it all. But I am afraid and my mind seems to be holding my heart back. My heart is tormented not being able to react as it would have liked to. These resounding fears are creeping back up to haunt me.

Save me from myself..