Sunday, March 25, 2012 . 5:59 AM

A Random Post

Back to blog blog bloggaaaaaa blogginnggg oncee again... Alot of changes in my life since the last time i blogged. I have ooc-ed from the fire fighter course into info comms. Alot more relaxed the jobscope and workplace is super near my place. Really quite thankful of the opportunity to get out of the fire fighting course as it really wasn't something i feel i can excel and be good at. Now I can enjoy the privilege of going home everyday... I must continue to lean to be thankful of the situation and be the best I can be in my workplace.

These few months in ns has been quite a challenging period both physically and mentally. Entered the PTP stage with new people, learning the system of the ns life in camp, the disciplines.. Getting used to the trainings, and then posted out into fire fighting course... it's honestly one of the longest 1 month of my life. Mentally and physically challenging... Every morning before fall in, everyone had tired faces, we know everyday's gonna be a very tiring day.. Sometimes quite terrible, other times quite encouraging as I realize people can be kind during tough times and lend a helping hand when they themselves are really exhausted. I appealed to OOC from the fire fighting course and got into infocomm.. It is another new environment, new people... 1 week plus of 'traning'.. And now I am posted to out into my actual workplace just a few bus stops away from home.

I really want to excel the best that I can everyday.. It is not enough just trying to be a good person, but to understand the needs of myself then learning to understand the needs of others. I have to be daring, to step out of my comfort zone, from my own little world, when I am around people. Yet there is this constand fear n unsettlement in my heart for some reason, may yet again time shall reveal a deeper understanding for each phase that I pass through.

Maybe I really put too much energy uselessly into other people, in people's approval, in pleasing others without me knowing it. And coincidentally I am listening to Madonna's song, Let It Will Be', hahax. Ron rem you can't control every aspect of things in life so that it will be better for yourself, but to just sit back and relax, let things come together by themselves. Focus on the useful things and not on the negativity infront of you. Place your trust in your gut instincts.. Let strength and wisdom flow out as it is supposed to. Below is a poem a friend found from an online source and I think it is very beautiful, very meaningful...

 ‎"Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."
by the English poet William Ernest Henley (1849–1903). "Invictus"