Later we went to watch a movie, had dinner and went on our way home. On our way to the bus stop, there was a caucasian lady she approached and talked to me.. It was a very awkward moment.. I knew it was some religious christian-related person wanting to introduce their religion. I remembered my 2 experiences with on-street Jehovah witnesses or some kind of witness people trying to bring people to their religion. Those experiences were not pleasant ones... So when this lady approached me, I felt a sense of uneasiness..

She approached me asking how's my day and later we talked about christianity. I told her I used to go to church but no longer attending. She then went on to ask why, and I told her I wanted to experience life out of church life widen my horizon. It was a very awkward conversation as I am not used to such conversations with strangers.

It led me to think then what do I actually believe in the life out of church? What did I mean when I mentioned to widen my horizon in my perspectives? Initially I left church was because I knew that the clash of belief that having a same sex relationship is a sin, homosexual lifestyle is a sin. This fear of not belonging and unwillingness to voice it out due to the useless aftermath reactions of it led me to just quit going to church altogether. I needed to continue my growth as a person, on my inner being, and to do that I shouldn't be in an environment with views I have to address that people in church wouldn't accept or agree to.

I learnt to, over the pass months, to learn to strip the many facades of my weakened self, caused by chains of conflict in beliefs and obligations in my church life. I began to widen my view my understanding in believing that the true enitity of the great and awesome God, that friend that i used to feel, speak to, being loved by, is not just in the context of Christianity, but in this being i was created as, in the sunrise, the simple breeze, in the other person that I talk to, in songs that I listen to, in a person's sigh and when I place my a hand to my heart some nights before I sleep. The great being is in everything I experience, He is in every step of my journey watching over me, He is in everyone that I love or despise, He is in every humble being, our everyday truth. He is the everyday notions that let me yearn for something far greater than myself. I began to learn about tarot reading as a medium for self-discovery and for growth. There are so many other activities to learn and experience in life. 

Everything that I do, when done with understanding, brings forth different depths of revelations everyday. I must not be afraid to walk on in life, walk on... into the different chapters, to widen my mind's knowledge and heart's understanding. Be daring, be a fighter in what u believe in Ron! True strength and confidence is in the notion of being humble and being truthful, you have to remember that!