Saturday, February 18, 2012 . 9:32 PM

Before Book-in Again

Going to book in later this evening. My mind is feeling lots of tiredness, frustration and some anxiety. I know everyone has to go through NS, and that I should be thankful to be in civil defence instead of the army. But still I can't help having such messed up thoughts.

Gotta let my heart settle and get used to the fire fighting course for a few more weeks and stop expecting too much out of myself. The negative side within my head is telling me how weak I am, that I can't get used to a fireman's life in ns. Why am I so silly to listen and take in all those from that voice? I am not weak, I have to rely on the strength that resides within me from spiritual translating into physical aspects in my life. Whatever things that come by in life, the positive things and especially the really negative ones, are not to tear me down but are opportunities where I have to take the chance to learn and grow from.

These are opportunities that I need to catch on and to learn to grow out of the negative thinking habit. Within all the chaos, to find serenity and peace and levelledness from within. Where is that haven I can go to??