Saturday, January 14, 2012 . 7:01 AM
Where Will I Go?
Happie.. Met up a good friend over at somerset today to walk around, and we by chance met another friend by chance. Was happie to see them today.. In the end I got myself a new deck of tarot cards I have been looking forward to owning it for a long time.. It is called Tarot of the Sweet Twilight. These are some of the samples right below here..
Beautiful phrases I found on the net that I feels fits the imagery of this deck alot! ♥
'Searching deep in darkened places,
Reaching into vacant spaces,
I touch only shadow faces . . .
... Where are you?
Empty cave in endless mountains,
Dusty, dry, deserted fountains . . .
Pathless, groping, I move hoping
Where are you?
Past songless birds on leafless trees
Cross waveless oceans, silent seas
Through fumbling nights that find no day,
I move and try to find my way . . . '
'Searching deep in darkened places,
Reaching into vacant spaces,
I touch only shadow faces . . .
... Where are you?
Empty cave in endless mountains,
Dusty, dry, deserted fountains . . .
Pathless, groping, I move hoping
Where are you?
Past songless birds on leafless trees
Cross waveless oceans, silent seas
Through fumbling nights that find no day,
I move and try to find my way . . . '
I really love the emotions, colours, melancholic nature, loneness, wistfulness, child-likesness evoked from the imagery of this deck. Truly beautiful.. the sadness in the eyes, tears to me I believe is an evidence of strength. Sometimes we hold on and tough it out for too long till we need a break.. Other times we gather courage, and shed a tear. Just like the message of a song sang by leona lewis, crying is beautiful.. The hope for something to be what it is supposed to be, to be fulfilled and whole, things to be alright. Fighting the teas of yesterday and haboring a strong hope and determination for tomorrow... These are the factors that drove my interest, that enabled a connection for me with the cards.
My life.. I ask myself every so often.. what I want or hope for in my life... What are my goals? Do I really love art, drawing, creative activities? Or do I fade in to the norm and take up normal education and take up a normal job nx time and make the best out of the situation? Where do I see myself in 5 yrs, 10 yrs, 20 yrs, 30yrs, 50yrs time?? Is art my passion, truly my passion?? Have other people's expectations or my self thought-out expectations retarded my growth of my passion? I understand I have to be realistic as a person, as a being, as a vessel. I have to come into reality and accept certain things that cannot be changed or are inevitable. But one thing I do not want to be is to be an empty vessel. I need to be a soulful vessel, I need to be and then to stay alive.
Everyday I pull myself together, or at least I try to. I want to make the best out of any situations I am in, it will not be easy but this is life, life is full of shit, so much so that sometimes we jut have to accept and to make the best out of the situation. Do not be afraid Ron, face your fears... Fears that are like the lightning.. Lightnings that are strong, emotive, impressionation, source of bright light. Lights that will shed the way for my journey. Fears will be my revelation into my goals, my deepest yearnings in life. I will figure and travel my life journey one day and I want this canvas of mine to be bittersweet, an impressionable one.