Friday, January 27, 2012 . 8:33 AM
The TowerJust booked out yesterday (friday).. It has been another week to go through in camp.. I am having mixed feelings of my life in there as well as in other areas of my life at the same time. Very vexed now, very tired, in withdrawal mode. Spirit is very cramped up now.. But what can I do to free it? I recognize this cycle of being contented and drooping down low, vexed, angry and frustrated. But this cycle is spiraling upwards to improvement and better understanding of the things happening around me. I notice too that past fears creeping back up is a continual process for growth.
I recall my 1st tarot reading I did for my life, the past card which is of The Tower card.
The spread of pass, present and future cards spoke alot to me. This Tower card is one of them.. The Tower is a card of chaos, spoke to me of taking courage, taking a breath, a deep breath and start on the journey of discovery. The lightining in the sky admist the clouds may seem ominous on the surface, may send the 'weak' heart scrambling back into hiding.. But lightning symbolises light to me. Lightning -> Light -> Source of direction -> Revelation. Lightning are fears in my life that will bring forth revelation and realisation and constant reminder to build upon the courage I am holding up as I go upon this journey (obstacle in image aka thick vines at lowest areas of the image) to fight for my goals, beliefs and dreams.
Fears have been very close to my side since when I was 10. It has put me into hiding for the most part.. Lightning is like a coin.. But I will want to choose.. I will need to flip the coin over from the side of fear, into the side of revelation and understanding amidst all the unknown and fears. You have to build courage Ron, to remind yourself constantly of your hopes, your beliefs. And when you are shaken, pause.. and hold still... Remember the journey you have walked so far, do not forget what you have seen, hear and experienced, learnt... Don't be a fking pussy, suck it up.. The heart has the capacity to be vulnerable and strong at the same time... Open your mind..