Tuesday, November 22, 2011 . 10:55 AM

Truth.. Honesty..

These days I have been doing, thinking, understanding things with a clearer mind. I'm happy for the change and growth as a person internally, emotioanlly and mentally. I realize over the course of learning to love myself, that I am not a very spiteful person as I thought myself to be last time and I am not that weak as I have thought so. I am strong if I want to, it is a choice and concious decision to be truthful to be strong to be positive and hopeful.

I have this goood friend in lasalle. I have been talking quite frequently with and I really do love him quite alot as a friend. I find he probably is the one friend that I can connect with heart to heart, very indepth and still be able to really relate n understand from each other.

There are times when I feel tormented.. there are times that I feel tired.. there are times i feel ashamed of myself and the things I have done or not done.. There are times when I react out of fear.. There are times when I take heart and begin to tear.. There are times when I learn to be composed and take pride and joy in the strength I am beginning to understand... There are times where I know and I just know I have to let my heart go and let life and happiness find me..

I remember I was so focused on results.. on my goals especially in my art. It affected the other areas of my life like the simple things I do as well this mindset of impatience and fear of not achieving something or not making a mark to show people that I am not a nobody that I am 'capable'. This lasalle friend has taught me a whole ot of things and reminded me of how vibrant, simple and fun life is.. Just by communicating and knowing him as a person, is very worth it. Simplicity and spontaneous in the process and present is so important. To be able to keep alive and feel the things in life and experience them fully.

I used to be very flustered very easily... Very nervous an anxious very very easily. But I realize being honest and learning to be true, nomattr how unpredictable or badass sometimes situation may make me seem.. it is ok.. it is worth it, as long as I have peace in my heart and self-assurance. Truth :)