Monday, November 14, 2011 . 9:52 AM

Confidence

Falalalala back here bloggingggg.. Now listening to Damien Rice's song, 9 Crimes and relistened to Music Box by Mariah carey today. Good in relaxing the mind with good musiccc... :) Recently I have been browsing yet again randomly on tarot decks and came across one which I really really like.. It is called Tarot of the Sweet Twilight. I went to Kino at taka area to look for it. They left one of that deck on the shelf but I was too broke to buy... !!!!!!! I can really relate to the sadness and hope I see in the cards of that deck. below is the link of the card images.. very very beautiful...

http://strangerealms.multiply.com/photos/album/135

Lately I feel I am becoming more aware of myself. Like some form of understanding and realization tweaked inside of me... I do re-read my posts from time to time to remind myself of my past thoughts on what I have understood from the past and remind myself of my hopes. And through blogging, I feel strongly that it does help with my growth as a person as well.

I've started to become more confident of myself.. Knowing then slowly understanding it is ok to feel good, that I am good enough and not this ugly creature I have always used to think of myself.. That distorted self-image I am taking concious effort to eliminate. To feel good, to believe in myself, to want to hope and want to dream big for my future... are steps I am taking to love myself better... I really don't want to care if people may misinterpret it as being selfish but what is more important is to have the truth and the peace in my heart than satisfying people that don't get it.

Whatever problems come in my way.. I have to remind myself to pause.. relax... take a step back.. observe.. let things sink in naturally and react. Taking a step back to problems also helped me to look at many things in angles I have not seen in before. I want to see things what the average person can't. I want to have the capacity to take in the joy and pain the average person can't. I want to live life as much as I can... Without fear, but with courage and believing in myself... in the innermost core of my heart... But I have to work hard also for my dreams to materialize. Someday :)