Saturday, October 8, 2011 . 12:15 PM
Disappointments... Truth... My drawing...Its late again.. 2.45am and I am posting... blogging... need to wash up but really hope to get this out of my had my heart.
Recently I have completed my drawing that I have been working on and off for months due to work commitments and the sorta intricate development of the artwork itself. I really loved the drawing I have done. It is my favorite piece to date, I felt it's my strongest drawing to date so far... But when I posted it onto deviantart.. The response wasn't good at all... compared to my other works that I feel is 'lousier', the amount of favorite for that work isn't as many as I would hope for.
I was anxious... Why isn't my efforts paying off?? The drawing I have put so much effort heart and soul into. Is it because I have not posted any new art within the past 1 year prior to this post of latest artwork? That's why hence the lousy response? Am I not good enough? Then my thoughts progressed on to.. Ron... Are you strong, talented enough to become a full-time artist? Maybe you shouldn't have carried on with this so-called dream/ambition. You're a fool if you think you can make it big.. Ppl aren't really liking your work you post online. What makes you think you can be an artist?!
All these thoughts running wild.... It is not because I have not received good comments about what I do but the response was lacking by alot in comparision to what I usually would have compared to my previous works. I had thought this would be my best drawing so far, but the response so far has shown me highly unlikely...
But I loved the way it turned out.. I have believed so much in it.. My vision for it... Has it turned a lie what I have seen so far I ask myself. A good artist friend who has always been very very supportive of me and my works even commented today that it isn't my best work, coz lack of balance quality, along those lines. I was utterly down.. It hasn't been a great great end to my day today and I come home to read that. I was very depressed moments ago.
But I went to check my messages again... I saw 2 new feedbacks...
'Stay unique and be a true blue out there!'
'YOU ARE A TALENTED ARTIST AND I ADMIRE YOUR COURAGE TO BECOME BETTER..EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE PRETTY AWESOME ALREADY!
PEACE AND RAINBOWS!'
After reading those 2 comments, It really lifted up my spirit... Maybe I wasn't so bad afterall.. People were still believing in me.. even strangers... People who don't know me at all.. People who see something in my in my art that I though other's never would after this incident of lacking a certain 'good' response compared to my previous artworks.
It led me to think... Recall a friend of mine... whom I got to know.. a very good friend of mine.. When I 1st known him in my art school.. during the 1st year I found him repulsive... like a jerk and idiot.. He didnt seem to have alot of friends... I was tormented with him by my side throughout the whole 1st year... but moving on into my speciality in 2nd year we went into the same course.. I started opening my heart and started to see there was something very different about him compared to other people... And now... He is one of my closest friend... This guy has a heart of gold... I am honored to be his friend.
This just reminded me that not all good things others will appreciate... Doesn't mean the masses of 'positive' feedback would determine the quality of my drawing... It is the quality and in how much I believe in myself and the few people would see it that really matters. Just like my friend who stays true to his heart... Nomatter how dreadful life can be to him, doesn't matter if he may feel like an outsider, outcast... but to me he is very precious. It isn't about the quantity that matters... But the Quality! Without love we are nothing!
My post is kinda long today, I think it is the longest post I have so far... but whew!!! I've gotteen these outta my head outta my head! I feel great!! I'll share this drawing here I've been talking about. Done in charcoal pencils on paper.
Scorned
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