Wednesday, September 28, 2011 . 9:45 AM

Loneliness.. Emptiness..

These days have been having more time on my hands after I have quitted my job. I hope with every passing time to experience life at a slower pace and to make good use of my time. So sometimes when I am free, I have been reading this book called,' Desire'. Simple as that. It is by John Eldredge.

There is this one part of the book that really input truth to my heart.. ''Most people live incredibly lonely lives. Our worst pain comes from our ever-present isolation. We are surrounded by people, but truly known by so few - if any', John Eldredge.

Getting, learning to love and understanding myself better, a part of it is to.. painfully at times to acknowledge the emptiness I have within. It sucks.... This feeling and the notion of it. But I need to face reality, to put my feet on the ground. I yearn for soul, only to discover I am souless within. My heart is aching.. thirsting... desperately reaching out.. yet I can't find anything, anyone to fill my soul, soul-to-soul. This is life i guess.. But I won't give up knowing that there is something, some experiences, far beyond my expectations that has yet to come.. beyond my wildest goals and dreams...

After reading the extract from the book, it open a new door of knowledge but also a realization of a hole an emptiness I have within. I noticed the sad fact... That I began to question and ask myself.. If there is any one person.. in this world that truly knows me for who I am.. I thought hard.. But the answer came in a whisper.. a soft no.. then a loud echo.. NO....... you don't have anyone. The lonliness can become excruciating at times, but what to do?

I remember times when I was truly... truly.. fill with love, freedom... joy.. apart from my childhood days, were from the times I prayed my soul out... let my soul cry out to the God.. somewhere.. that I believe in. U have givn me this heart, not meant to be an empty one but to start from point blank. So i can be slowly filled in the process, nomatter the outcome... I really hope... i truly hope... in the end of the day.. I would have truly lived this life.