Sunday, April 10, 2011 . 12:00 PM

After Fear Comes Love

Hahahaha muahahahah lalalala.. lolololo... lililililili! I'm inspired to write again! Woooo... So... I've been spending time at home a lot these days. Not totally slacking my time off and nuahing... but have been having alot of thoughts.. From being almost idling to having so much inspiration these days, it is truely incredible this way. through songs.. through my own writings and sketches and understanding of self. I have learnt and further understand that I have been a person driven by fear. Heaps and heaps of fear. And in Singapore.. fear is something evident in our community.. Kia si..(scared of dying) Kia su..(scared of losing) has been one of the highlights of 'who/what/how' we are as Singaporeans. But I believe in and around the world many contexts of it society injected fear in our lives directly or.. indrectly.

So.. The fear I have been understanding lately and the more I am trying to comprehend what love is about.. it teaches me more about fear. How love doesn't exist alongside fear.. Perfect love drives out all fear. Fear retards... Love helps us to grow. As I have learn't to understand... Fear is the energy more real than physical, that closes our hearts... While love on the other hand, the sole force that gives life to everyone and everything around us, is the element that tries to pry our hearts open.. I have learnt and slowly understand that having an open heart is very important. For growth.. Happiness.. for passion.. yes passion.. Passion for living.. for our love ones.. friends... for nature.. for helping.. for working... for even just putting a simple smile on the face.

Now that I have been learning more and trying to understand love with an open heart.. I yearn to grow.. with the people around me.. I have seen good friends grow and mature... seeing myself and family members grow too.. usually out of the pain and shit life puts us into.. We come out stronger.. Without hate.. without resentment that retards us from moving forward.. Be forgiving.. Yes forgiving at times we humans veer towards the selfish lanes.. so swift.. and viciously.. and we forget.. Plz don't..! Stop and remind ourselves..  Stop and take a step back and look... wait... wait with an open heart.. Even when it is hard to. We would pull through.. that's how we learn to be stronger. Strength comes from every hardship.. endurance to those times.

I've been listening to a song from Evanescence. it's called Understanding.. It's sooo damn beautiful. How it is expressed.. the lyrics hold so much truth to the depths of the human heart and mind. Love that is bigger than just a usual r/s but the bigger context of Love itself and that is God and that He is Love. I woud like to share it at the link below.. and the lyrics..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QahGi4-WdCM&feature=channel_video_title

"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the imprint is always there."

(Can't wash it all away)
(Can't Wish it all away)
(Can't hope it all away)
(Can't cry it all away)

The pain that grips you
The fear that binds you
Releases life in me
In our mutual
Shame we hide our eyes
To blind them from the truth
That finds a way from who we are
Please don't be afraid
When the darkness fades away
The dawn will break the silence
Screaming in our hearts
My love for you still grows
This I do for you
Before I try to fight the truth my final time

"We're supposed to try and be real.
And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real."

Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away

Lying beside you
Listening to you breathe
The life that flows inside of you
Burns inside of me
Hold and speak to me
Of love without a sound
Tell me you will live through this
And I will die for you
Cast me not away
Say you'll be with me
For I know I cannot
Bear it all alone

"You're not alone, honey."
"Never... Never."

Can't fight it all away
Can't hope it all away
Can't scream it all away
It just won't fade away, No

Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away

(Can't fight it all away)
(Can't hope it all away)
Can't scream it all away
Ooh, it all away
Ooh, it all away

"But the imprint is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten."
"God, please don't hate me"
"Because I'll die if you do."
"Because I'll die if you do."
"Because I'll die if you do."
"Because I'll die if you do."