Saturday, March 5, 2011 . 2:15 AM

Reply & Responsibilities

Hellloooo back to blogging =)) I have not been blogging for days, though my mind has a lot to talk about. It's those periods where it's a tad overwhelming and the mind shuts down not knowing how, what to express, esp in words.

Lately I've been thinking - as always - about my life.. the aj side of it, my future, the people around me, the meaning of it all. Many times we try to comphrehend and ask so many questions and tend not allowing our hearts to lead to feel the surroundings, to feel the people around us. We tend to react mostly and not acting upon it, our feelings and positive desires. At some point of points of our lives, we tend to stop and think.. Why can't I relate to this other person? Why is my life unreal, like a dream, as though nothing's important to me? We get so engrossed in our daily routines and daily needs along with the society that we lose track of whats really is for us, what/why are we living for? It all comes with the heart, the awakening of it to live once again.

Recenty, I sent a facebook message to my church's cell leader. He have  replied my message 2 days ago. The time he took to reply, he told me that he needed time to think and consider instead of blasting at what 1st came to his mind. He is a good christian brother. Basically, he replied and was trying to understand what I am feeling, thinking and hoping for. The aj side of things, and especially in relation to christianity is rather foreign to him. But through this, I believe I wouldn't compromise my beliefs and in what he doesn't comprehend. I believe in His word and what He wants in my life, I believe God still loves us for who we are. For being different, all the more we should embrace it rather than hiding it away. It's easier said than done, but He always have a way out.

Just yesterday, I was feeling damn stressed with my school assignments and fees, so I texted my sis about it. Somehow we conversed and I just came out to through texting. When she half guessed that I am gay/bi or wadeva, I was like.. heck.. i'll just admit it lol. She replied that she still loves me, was good to hear from her and her response about it. Next group of people coming out to may be some of my close friends.

Talking about school and assignments in the previous paragraph, I've decided to defer my studies and head to army 1st. I remember I used to have the passion for art, living and breathing everyday with it. Art is something I want to give out to people, inputing hope into expressions of distraught and pain. It is definitely something people can and would relate to. Whether it is something done to inspire others, directly or indirectly changing lives, personal reflection or self-discovery, it is some worth exploring to bring about change and growth. Sometimes growth means leading life not in tele of other people's beliefs and expectations and taking a breather.

That's all for it for now.. My mind's dead.. I need to get out of the house walk on the beach or something!! gah!!! =P