Friday, February 18, 2011 . 11:09 AM

Impulse aka Freedom? or Impulse vs Freedom?

Lalalala! I'm back to blogging again =)) Yesterday I went out with Grand and Junior master. These 2 guys are really drama, bickering with each other every so often! For some reason I was earliest.. followed by junior and grand, coz grand was 'late' for his dental so it took him longer to reach. We had good lunch and talked about stuff and... guys as usual.. =P

But anyways... we went to watch the movie Black Swan.. A special movie... refreshing one I would say.. How abstract and probably deviod of actual meanings to the concepts the movie had in certain areas. A truely intense plot... of a girl that has always been that perfectionist, prim and proper... perfect in her dance. Just like art for myself, I always do relate and apply into life. Same with the girl, The way how perfect, controlled she was as a person is depicted so clearly in her dance.. the technique = perfect.

It comes down to a problem that she not only have to play the white swan, but also embody the role of the black swan, which is more dangerous, risk-taking and spontaneous. Through the proccess of discovering the art of letting go, she experiences illusions.. dreams that make her go wild. When those impulses she had became so strong, she thought she had hurt or even killed those around her. Ending which were all illusions and she ended up hurting herself instead.

What is freedom?? Don't we all seek freedom? Just like the girl that is so controlled that desires to let go. Is freedom an impulse? Or is freedom a step before impulse before it all is taken too far? Is freedom on the expense of gaining while hurting people around us, while impulse is when we realize that we have hurt ourselves the most instead of the other party(s)? Is impulse a true expression of nature that we should experience to get to freedom? Where then is control to balance it all out? Is control able to co-exist with freedom?

From the movie, I have thought of such things.. How do we embody the spontaneous side of life and at the same time not going overboard with it? I believe fear can mislead us in our journeys in life, till we break down, ourselves in the process of letting go, ending up with impulses that returns the blow heavily. I don't want to let fear override my decisions in life.. holding me back from what I really want and believe it's right in God's eyes. I believe He wants the best for me, for me to grow to love my family, friends and myself more. To love my future bf with freedom and even with impulse. My future too, to control where it needs to, letting go when the heart truely desire to.

Alright I've bragged too much today.. well... My mind just needed to clear some stuff now and then.. =P